Nuovo Bene: To Keep, Again and Again and Again

Because I am always late to everything, and the day I'd be early to anything would be the day of my wake, I am making this late. I know resolutions barely mean anything at all to anyone anymore, and I've never really had any before. So I guess I am making up for the lack of them this year. Not everything will be accomplished I know, and yet in the making of them I have found great joy and comfort.

I made these while waiting in a cafe for my ride earlier today. I find that I do like making lists. Naturally, this one is not short. But it makes me quite happy, to have all this out of me. The act of writing it down, all those numbers, the sound of pencil scratching paper, reminded me of everything I've missed these past few months of harried schedules, moving about, work and hiatuses. I do like it here after all.

So anyway, here:

1. Act your age.
2. Use your real voice.
3. Be yourself.
4. No more apologies.
5. Tell the truth. Especially when it is hard.
6. Give being healthy a try. A good one.
7. Be smart again.
8. Stop feigning ignorance.
9. Stop feigning knowledge.
10. Come to terms with age.
11. Walk places.
12. Forget the un-lived life. Live this one.
13. Don't bite off more than you can chew.
14. Take your time.
15. Stop going with the flow.
16. Learn Italian. Slowly.
17. Take necessary steps for emancipation.
18. Redeem yourself in your own eyes.
19. Learn how to make a real film.
20. Reconnect. Connect.
21. Stop avoiding complications, it's futile. They will always be there. Deal. Take.
22. Find your place. Expand it.
23. Stop saying "never". Stop saying "maybe".
24. Be deliberate.
25. Become the kind of person you admire.
26. Learn old ways. Sew. Knit. Jar your own preserves.
27. Work your butt off.
28. Don't sleep so much.
29. Stop being a mimic. Stop being a mirror.
30. Let go of the love you expect. Accept the love you deserve.
31. Start small. It's okay to start small.
32. Drive. Take a trip by yourself. Get lost again.
33. Paint.
34. Learn knots.
35. Start planning for your businesses. Be concrete.
36. Use your bank account. Deposit. Invest.
37. Write. Read. Elaborate in less words.
38. Be simple.
39. Cleaner. Always be cleaner.
40. Make your bed. Everyday.
41. Laundry. By hand.
42. Save for what you need. Invest in the best.
43. Accept nothing by coercion. Accept nothing by fear.
44. Stand up for yourself.
45. Tell it like it is.
46. Pick your battles.
47. Understand religion. Understand faith.
48. Learn like a grade-schooler. Go back to basics. Do maths. You are bigger than numbers.
49. Throw out all things unused.
50. Cultivate patience, overcome tribulation.
51. Educate yourself. Don't be afraid to know.
52. Eat more vegetables. Eat as much greens as grains.
53. Do something creative. "Waste" your time in something that makes you happy.
54. Stop trying to make people like you.
55. Sing. Don't hold back.
56. Do not embellish. No more make-ups. No more stories. No more excuses.
57. Do not sacrifice for other people's sacrifices. Let them do it.
58. It's okay to harden your heart when it's been too soft. Make it steady. Make it firm.
59. Accept help. Ask for help. You are not perfect. You cannot do everything.
60. Dip your lower half in culture. Your upper half in forethought.
61. Invest on the things you want.
62. Record your experience. Remember your days.
63. Learn more about your family. Ask the questions you never asked.
64. No more hiding. No more being in a rut.
65. Love people again.
66. Stop being so sun-shiny. Be shiny when you feel like being shiny. It's okay to just glimmer. You hate sparkles anyway.
67. It's okay not to finish your plate. Don't force-feed. It's better to waste, than in your waist.
68. Accept inconsistency but never hypocrisy. Stop making excuses for others.
69. Hyphenate your life. Be more, do more, than just one things.
70. Ask questions. Relevant ones.
71. Move things along.
72. Be more than just a girl. Be a girlfriend. When asked, say yes.
73. Write a roman a clef. Learn punctuation, French style.
74. Exercise your memory.
75. Swim. Learn a low-impact sport. Think of your knees.
76. Redecorate your life.
77. Write letters. Send postcards.
78. Find a secret keeper.
79. Try being ambidextrous.
80. Pay.
81. Get paid.
82. Learn gardening, it is complicated.
83. Help people. Visit prisoners or something. Stop thinking about what other people will think. Do this because it's good for the soul.
84. Stop all the catastrophic thinking. PLEASE.
85. Manage your time.
86. Know the human body, inside out. You used to love Anatomy.
87. Make peace with germs. Everything is dirty-- except a surgical wound.
88. Invite people in.
89. Understand yourself. Go on a date.
90. Go to Santa Monica Pier. Big Bear. Try the Goliath. The Orange Line. Take a picture with the Hollywood sign. Discover your city. Be touristy.
91. Try everything once.
92. Get a tattoo.
93. Buy something vintage. Something blue. With flowers. With a sun. A rose. A watch.
94. Learn how to press flowers.
95. Satisfy your curiosity.
96. Desire change.
97. Stop counting.
98. Cut your hair short. Even if it's unflattering. Get it out of your system. Learn to curl.
99. Accept your class. Be the first. Be the last. Be the in-between.
100. Run. Run to everything you fear.